What's yout ETA?

I just flew in from Tennessee and boy... Oh how I wish it were that simple.
Apparently there was a bit of wind and foul weather Sunday in New York City.
I wouldn’t know. I wasn’t here.
We departed the Volunteer state around eleven o’clock in the a.m. The plane was a cute little commuter that had propellers and everything that departed from the tiny tri-cities airport. About a half an hour later we land in Charlotte, a quick look and see in some of the shops and we arrive at the gate where there was another gift shop. I deliberated over a bag of cheese popcorn, only because the buildup at the register looked long. That’s the only good reason for forgoing day glow powdered fluffy kernels of goodness. By the time we had browsed the key chains and bobble head beaver pens, the line dwindled and snacks were purchased.
We lined up to board, avoided tripping over the wheelie cart that the woman in front of us was totting, oblivious to the extra space she took up with her tag along, all the while maintaining a comfortable distance from this hovering girl behind us who found in necessary to exist three inches over your shoulder at all times. I complimented my travel companion on her expertise at a smooth connection(perhaps as a buffer for switching my position, leaving her to the hoverer) and remarked what an easy flight it was. Yeah, I spoke to soon.
After we settled in for our anticipated hour and a half flight, we instead spent the equivalent and then some of that time on the tarmac, waiting for the go ahead to depart to JFK. Thank goodness for Cheese Corn and puzzle books to pass the time. Ah, but it was all in vain. Instead of a liftoff, we returned to the gate to “refuel.” As we readied ourselves to exit back into Charlotte’s airport, an announcement was made to make sure that we removed all of our belongings in case we decided to “change our plans.” Um, okay. “Yeah, no. I don’t really think I want to go home today; maybe I’ll just hang out here instead. I think I saw some rocking chairs with a view of the hanger and Bath and Body Works is having a buy one get one sale.” That wasn’t exactly what we had in mind, but seeing as how we were informed that our flight was cancelled as soon as we deplaned, it was what we got. Sure, “refuel.” A likely story.
Long line story short, we stayed in a hotel nearby. There was a free shuttle and a discounted rate for stranded passengers, so it’s not all doom and gloom. Plus there was a Mexican restaurant with margaritas nearby and the hotel had a pool. Our packing had not prepared us with proper swim attire, but we were determined to make the best of things, so boxer shorts and tank tops made do.
We awoke at the leisurely hour of 4:30 a.m. to catch the shuttle for our seven o’clock connection correction. The woman behind the counter told us that her driver hadn't yet shown up. “I can’t believe it” she stated, feigning sympathy, “actually I can” she added with a shrug, her less than concerned state of being was a little unerving. She finally called a cab, a single van cab for the five adults, two children, luggage, and cars seats. We figured they family of travelers would get it first, but the woman suggested to the other two adults that she went ahead with the two kids with us, and they could get the next one. I was shocked how democratically well handled the situation, when I found out she was Canadian and it became more clear.
We got there in plenty of time, and it was a good thing to. Both of us were “randomly selected for addition screening.” (I bet it had nothing to do with the SSSS’s printed on the corner. Maybe they think distressed passengers to be hostile. ) The search turned out to be nothing more than a slightly fancier because they used technology rummage through our bags, similar to what I encounter, sans swabbed analysis, every time I pass a random subway station search site. Seriously I’ve been searched almost every time I enter a set up. Maybe I look suspicious. I don’t know, but if that’s the case I wish someone should have said something sooner. But anyhoo, we actually took to the sky not to terribly long after our stated time, and everything seemed to be going our way until we were informed that Laguardia wasn't accepting any landings and we were being rerouted to LaGuardia, so we fell into a holding pattern and circled.. What I wouldn’t give to have gotten more cheese popcorn that day! After a few spins, they had to refuel. No sarcastic inferred air quotes there. I’ve heard tale that planes keep only what they need as far as gas goes for issues of weight control, and I didn’t want to test that theory by staying up longer than they intended. So it was good morning Baltimore, where we land at the pump and wait another two hour before heading back and finally landing at LaGuardia.
Oye. I wonder if they include all those extra bits if adventure into frequent flyer miles.