The story takes place in a cooler season, but not without complications. It’s one of those times that can be reflected upon when one is wishing away the hot and sticky days of summer, though I’m not knocking the winteriness either. There’s fun to be had then too. Like this one time when I made an anatomically correct snowman, I put the cheese ball balls on top of the twig penis. But that’s and another doodle and tale for another time.
For now here’s:
Writing by MEGAN RANDLETT Drawing by MOLLIE ROTH
Let’s see, the other day there was an icy, rainy, snowy mix.
Campus had a delayed opening until 11, but my class is at 1, so I had to go...it was great, there was icy water above people's ankles all over the campus.
I was walking around in the most ridiculous boots that soaked up the water completely and became icy sponges. I kept having to take my socks off and let them dry out.
That was Wed. , on Thursday, I left my apt. early to go get my students V-day candy, since I had to teach
at (name of school) . I walked out and instantly remembered I hadn't moved my car during the storm.
My car looked like one of those cars that gets abandoned by the side of the highway.
There was a huge snow pile blocking in my front passenger side car.
I had no shovel and 1 hour to free a car from icy snow. I borrowed a shovel from the liquor
store and started trying to shovel; the shovel was plastic and bending with every push. I was
minding my own business and thinking I would still make it to class on time when I hear someone talking
behind me. I turn around, and it’s this very strange man who walks his dog through my parking lot talking
to himself. I turn around and he’s yelling at me
"YOURE LAZY, YOU SHOULD HAVE MOVED YOURCAR!!!!"(Drunk man, smelling strongly of booze).
"I know sir; I guess I have to pay for it by shoveling myself out" (me)
"YOURE LAZY, YOU CAN'T SHOVEL OUT, YOU NEED A PICK, WHY DIDN'T YOU MOVE YOUR CAR!!!??!"
"I know sir; I'll get it out eventually."
He then grabs for the shovel and begins to "shovel" out my car but really he's so drunk that he’s just hitting my car 'cause he can't aim, (no big deal, the Saturn is made of all plastic component parts in case you didn't know) He then turns to me and says
"FEED MY DOG!"
"what?"
"FEED MY DOG!"
He hands me a piece of jerky and instructs me to break it up into pieces and feed his little Pomeranian while he's hitting the side of my car with the liquor store's shovel. It’s now like 620 and I know
I have to cancel class, but I don't know how to get away from this man. Then he says
"GET INTO THE CAR AND BACK IT UP"
"Sir really, its stuck, and I have to go call out from work"
"GET IN THE CAR AND BACKIT UP"
"But really, its stuck I have to"
"BACK UP THE CAR!!!!!"
I get in, it was totally stuck, I finally convince the man that I have to go call out of work, but thanks for his help. Before he leaves he says,
"WHERES MY DOGS JERKY!!!!"
(it was in my pocket, I have it back to him) and then he says to
me, the first thing he said not yelling,
"if you want a job, I'm a manager at Dunkin Donuts and
McDonalds"
I canceled class and my neighbor helped shovel me out. I have bruises and cuts on my hand
and it wasn't all done until 7pm and I started at
520. But on the plus side, after graduation, I think I have a job at McD's.
